Jeannie and Kristine vs. The Universe

You know you're a scientist when following an aggressively won point your partner says, "Man!! I really think I peed my pants on that one!!" and you look toward the ground, identify that a void has not occurred, relate this observation to your partner (as a null hypothesis???), then flatly direct her to move on with the next point. I would expect our ringahh pharmacist, Kristine, to be more sensitive to these types of issues. I mean, really, I don't think this is an all or nothing type of problem. Isn't there a confidentiality line at CVS where one with say post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety-induced incontinence (all tennis-related, to be sure) could discuss the issue with a trusted professional??? Would she say in the aforementioned confidentiality line, "I don't see a puddle.... NEXT?!?" That said, we really did lay a boat-load of pressure on the duo through email, phone calls, and this very blog to land the team a win. And boy did they. With focus and determination Jeannie and Kristine won in straight 6-4, 6-4 sets giving us the team win we so desperately wanted. Mark this: your drinks are on us the next time we step out. In appreciation we offer our CONGRATULATIONS!!! You remain ever our cammie heroines...

Cedardale Green vs. Newburyport

So let it be written. So let it be done. The women of Cedardale Green drink whenever and wherever we want to. Before games, during games, and especially after games! There are no rules concerning on court consumption; rather, there are rules regarding STALLING. USTA encourages (encourages!!) players to drink before, during, and after matches and specifically allows 25 seconds between points and 90 seconds for each change over, which is usually when people take a drink. Anyone giving anyone grief should be subjected to a Cap'n-esque hockey stare down followed by full-court annihilation. And a tattoo. Wrapboard after if they really don't seem to get the message.

Speaking of landing some tennis ink, Linda France continues her march toward reminding opponents a painfully simple tennis 101 lesson: Keep your racket up. Also works brilliantly to back your opponent off the net. Jeannie will verify this. An overall three team points were brought home by Marybeth and Danielle, who played with an injured knee despite team rest orders from THE Cap'n (who does that??), Susan and Linda, and Dorian and Kathy. Dorian and I hold some bragging rights given my travel schedule and lack of playing time for having bageled our opponents in the second of a straight set match win. Looks like we have been uncaged, and you know what that means... time to break out our matching leopard-print pullovahhhhs!

Lastly, I send out a Hail Mary request to all. Do whatever you need to do. Kneel to the east, pray, slap on a rivers and snakes curse, break out your New Orleans voodoo dolls, or crop dust your whole house with lavendahhh. Doesn't matter to me. Just send some good cammo vibes to Jeannie and Kristine to rip us a strong and decisive win in their match against Winchester. No pressure, though, ladies. We love you and will buy you drinks either way!

Cedardale Green vs. Winchester White

With each team winning four matches, it all came down to sets, and the ball didn't bounce our way even though I was channeling the win and cheering you from afar. Cap'n and Liz won in straight sets with Shawn's crushing serve and Liz's leadership on the court. Betsey (our level-headed team mathematician) and Lisa Brennon bageled their opponents in the opening set and going to set three racked up a match win with stunning serves (Betsey) and angel volleys (Lisa). Marybeth and Linda ripped an awesome win amidst fierce opponent protestations. Note to everyone: the only thing France-like about Linda is her name! She knows the rules and holds her ground. As for the RIDICULOUS line calls on several of the other courts, I'd suggest we put away our lavender spritzahs to whip up and deliver a cat-five-hurricane-force-Marcel-inspired Peruvian disaster to the opponents who dare to cheat their way to the winner's circle. Unbelievable to anyone this side of blindness. Ann and Susan, and Dorian and Patti know; Coach Marcel and the satellite images know. And don't forget, Karma knows. All in all, given the nonsense and the closeness of the majority of matches, Shawn declared us the winners.

Cedardale Green vs. Manchester

We totally need these jackets! Just think, no more awkward hand signals or covering your mouth when you speak. Just throw on your indicator and let the point begin! We'd need the creative ones on the team to design a sexy tank version for the summer months, though. I'd also suggest adding a "down" arrow, so Shawn doesn't have to yell SIT!!!! at the ball anymore. An "up" indicator could either be a call to prayer or a call to jam the ball up the opponents', er, alley. Gee, what would Jeannie choose??? Either way, we need to get on this ladies.

Meantime, I must say what a pleasure it was to play Manchester. Every one of us reported great play and uber sportsmanship. Rockin' shout-outs to Betsey and Lisa for their hard-earned WIN, to Jeannie's beastly (bionic??) backhand, to Liz who tattooed her opponent's leg, to Shawn for recognizing that pre-gameday drinking may very well improve match play, and for her generosity in passing that tip along to us. And so, I dedicate this video to our awesome Cap'n, to my teammates and our great subs, and to Julie and Sam for their recent court ascension owing to repeated WINS! Ladies, WE are officially ahead of Winchester Green!

Cedardale Green vs. the Weeping Willows

What a difference a few months makes. It was only last November that the Willows gave up a miserly three sets and swept all eight of our courts. On Friday we took five of the eight courts back with two of the sets lost going into the third set. Shawn and Liz rocked a huge win showcasing three aces and ten games won in a row! Lisa and Leslie won in three sets through pain, tattoos, and some unsolicited advice from their opponents on line calls. Isn't that helpful??!! Reminds me of a quip from a tennis camp pro...that may work in YOUR club but not here! Marybeth and Mary won in straight sets and Julie and Sam continue their winning streak counting five wins since their doubles debut. Congrats, ladies!!! Predominantly singles players, Linda and I brought home a decisive win in the third set playing against a pair who, from all indications, had designs on going pro. There is an unsubstantiated rumor floating that I was seen closing in off the baseline. Shocking, I tell you. Simply shocking! Kristine and Jeannie were up to their usual antics demonstrating that you can, in fact, burn as many calories playing doubles as you can playing singles. Susan and Ann gave it their all against the Jens while Betsey and Lisa demonstrated agility and power in their return to the upper four. All in all the we-don't-cook-anymore women of Cedardale Green have much to celebrate! Hello, Julie!!?? When's our George's make-up????

Practice with Jess and Co.

What does the Albuquerque drill remind YOU of??? The Friday night line up, of course! Still can't believe my crazy little rag doll of a pahhtnah didn't remember this one...