Trendy or Trashy?

I love to wear black on the court.  Red, not so much. Flesh-colored booty shorts with a flouncy lace overlay and matching corset top?  Not in this lifetime.  Having proclaimed my share of feminist manifestos over the years, I get it.  It's about expression, design, confidence, and the freedom to choose. As a liberated woman, I applaud Venus's right to sport this outfit in lace, tulle, or studded leather on the top of the Eiffel Tower and on the courts at Roland Garros.  That said, even though she's got game and guts, I think she missed her "make it work" moment here. Just sayin'....

Cedardale vs. Newburyport

The USTA ladies brought home two team points this week, just one shy of the team win.  Lisa Raess pulled in her signature singles' victory, and Shawn played her first 3.0 match in a singles line-up demonstrating, once again, that she's got a great all-around game.  Jeannie and Ann fought hard nearly pulling in a point in the tiebreak.  Season partners, Betsey and Lisa, played well together delivering the second team point, while Susan and Julie were schooled by a pair who were clearly 3.5 players by anyone's ranking system.  Just remember, ladies, when you post numbers like that it's usually of sign of one funky smell in Denmark. 

Susan introduced the team to a new beverage, and it's only a matter of time before Shawn and Julie mix it with vodka.  Onepointeight (Ochocinco's got nothing on her!) claims that it's a homeopathic product that works to improve memory, balance, and energy while keeping your glycemic index in check.  In consultation with our willing-to-engage-in-pharming pharmacologist, Kristine, I'm going to check with the World Anti-Doping Agency and the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists to make certain that we aren't jeopardizing our future standings at sectionals, nationals, and our quest for the gold.  Stay tuned.

What happens when...

...you arrive to the Cedardale end of the season tennis party at 8:45, which according to Adam is when all the "cool people" arrive?  For one thing, all the food will be gone.  For another, the bar will be out of orange juice, cranberry juice, and wine.  You will be left creating a vodka concoction mixed with pineapple juice and red grape juice, which remains notably plentiful.   The last call will occur within 30 minutes, and you will need to slam your plastic-cupped, pineapple libation quickly, a move that drives your  glucose level through the ceiling and increases your risk of heart disease and diabetes.  Thanks.

On the upside, most of the crowds will have dispersed making plenty of catwalking room for The Divine Ms. D to prance and prowl about in her newly-awarded Cedardale Captain's fleece. The pullover is an attractive back-up to her 2007 navy blue National's model, and a clear improvement over the club's embroidered, scrunchy-bottomed vests that would make even 1.8 Dwyer look like a pear a$$.

Cool late people of note: Coaches Rick, Adam, and Ryan, the bartender, Dorian, Lesley Gold, Lisa Pratt, Nancy Greeley, Arlene Iosif, and Moi.

Summer 2010: USTA!!!

Kicking off the USTA Cedardale 3.0 summer league under Coach Sharon Kamens and Captain Shawn Licari are Lisa Brennan, Lisa Raess (pronounced RACE!) Leslie Bisson, Susan (Yes, I can play up! Check the regs!) Dwyer, Ann Tavenner, Marybeth Sampson, Jeannie (Do NOT make me come over there!) Deluca, Dorian (Tiny Dancer) Brown, Betsey Natale, Kristine (Can't we all just get along?) Sheehan, Cruise Director, Julie Menezes, and your favorite blogger and baseline runner, Kathy Nielsen-Dube. Look for the ladies on the court this week in Newburyport where we hope to begin the summer run with a little cleaning!

Closing the 2010 A1 Northshore run...

Court One: Player Down!

Really, it's just not all that uncommon to hear Dorian or me yell, "take a knee!!!" when someone gets tagged with a ball or racket, and it's usually followed by, "that's gonna leave a mark!" It's all a part of our on-court banter that others seem to tire of long before we ever consider that something could possibly be old, much less annoying.  But on Friday, we all needed to take a knee for the ladies on Court One.  First, for Kristine's gawd-awful socks that even when rolled down made her look like a 80 year old, eastern-European frau who plucked a chicken, darned some socks, and assisted in a village woman's childbirth before coming to the club (see far left). Second, for Jeannie who rolled her ankle and did a full-body drop that brought half the club onto the court.  Someone needs to alert Jess, because I've never seen Adam move so fast! While Evan got ice, the Cap'n moved in, and nearly every nurse in the house offered their services. After ten minutes or so, Jeannie got to her feet and tried to resume play like the athlete and competitor she is.  Unfortunately, when her ankle didn't agree with the plan, Jeannie and her partner, Helga, called it quits.

Next door Dorian and I played a strong, winning match.  We both landed aces, I closed in off the baseline better than usual, and Dorian (who DID tag one of our opponents) placed some amazing volleys and overhead shots. Apparently, 1.7 Dwyer managed to scare Cheryl (yes, a sub) during their match.  At some point Cheryl inquired whether or not 1.7 "was always like this," and "if she was 'on' something."  Not sure if Dwyer's juicing like Gold, but this recent swing in temperament suggests that the answer is YES. 

Ladies, we racked up three team points for the week.  Who brought in the other two???

C'mon people, now

smile on your brother,

ev'ry-body get together,

try to love one another
right now.

Birthday Fridays. Oh! And tennis...

Happy Birthday, Nancy!  Props to partner, Fran, for providing the cake, lighted candles and winning smile.  Fellow celebrants include Cap'n Tiny Dancer, who is always prepared to grapevine right and Carol who is being distracted by someone (I'd lay odds it's none other than Gold) and the rest of the team standing in the wings.  Tennis wise, we brought home three measly points this week, ladies.  What is UP WITH THAT!  Winners include Ann and Susan, Lisa Raess (pronounced "race") and Leslie, and Jeannie and Kristine.  

Just when you think you've heard it all regarding distraction issues and player complaints (we GOT IT, you prefer the nets closed!), along comes blog-worthy moment of the week: Opponent A on Court 5 informs Coach Evan Sideman that he CANNOT sit on the court-side bench to observe team play because it "distracts" her.  Thanking her for sharing that with the group is our very own Cap'n, who herself was told in turn not to speak while sitting court-side! Are you kidding me?  Should we contact air-traffic control in Lawrence and request a suspension on all flights during matches? Close down exit 48?  Army-crawl to the other courts?  I'm not one to be insensitive to legitimate distraction issues in general, but maybe someone, anyone, needs to tell these women that their lives may well be better lived through chemistry. 

Runner up moment of the day comes from, yeah you guessed it, Court 6.   Just when I got used to rain delay-esque, two minute set-ups between every point for strategizing, head blotting, and hydrating; just when I got used to seeing tennis gloves, bouncing, and net charging while "roaring," along comes the 32 ounce spritzer bottle for under-skirt refreshing.  Let's just say that if any of you use Dorian's peppermint spritzers on your underwear at anytime in my presence, I'm taking my racket and this blog and heading to the 2.5s with Dwyer.

Nadal y Shakira

Does he look injured to you????

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Just book it.

Evenfall ~ April 7 ~ Sevenish