Cedardale vs. Cedardale

There's always a little buzz in the air when we play our fellow club members in a match. Remember, though, it's the pros and not the Cedardale tennis women who kick-start the inter club rivalry (yeah, New Andrew, you were talkin' smack at our Monday practice!). Why, then are we subjected to the finger-wagging eyeball from Adam when we act on it?  Apparently, it's institutionally frowned upon or "not ladylike" to clap too loud, flash your teammates, or challenge the line calls of same-club opponents.  I just don't get it.  Evan has been complaining about Ryan's foot faulting for years, and the guys routinely fist pump, argue, grunt, brag, and saunter on and off the court like middle-aged Bryan brothers and not one word is said.  Newsflash, people: women want to win, too.  Why should we suppress all emotion and enthusiasm while playing or spectating?  Like my partner says, "If ya see something, say something!"  And so I will.

Congratulations to each and every one of us for taking four courts plus one set for the team win! Our top four courts struggled to take the relief off the rest of the team bringing in only one match point.  Dorian and I pulled in a 6-4, 6-1 straight set victory, leaving it up to courts five through eight to win every court for a team win. And win they did. Ginger and Laura N., Chris and Vicky, and our fabulous subs Erin and Steph secured three match points to tie up the score.  Props to all of us for keeping our numbers up along the way because at a four/four tie, it came down to counting overall sets.  We rocked the W by only one set, ladies, improved our team record, and (more importantly!!!) saved ourselves and Coach Evan from New Andrew's anemic smirking come Monday morning.  Thank god (or someone).

And, about this playah spotlight thing.

Several of you have asked me about the USTA Player Spotlight since my partner, the Divine Ms. D, released it to the bloody universe. In fact, last Friday at the club I had one woman congratulate me on the honor and then ask in a sideways manner, "What did you do to get that?"  Now, I'm not one to take offense to much, but I can tell you this, Dorian (who is current in her knowledge of all things related to brazen hussies) would never partner with anyone of ill-repute, much less someone from the "common element." It was Tom Flanagan from USTA who contacted me asking if I'd answer a few questions and send him a few tennis shots for the profile.   I complied.  That's all I did.  I would have appreciated him not cropping out the racket that was in my hand in the original shot considering how the photo makes me look like a total nitwit without it! And so it goes...Damn paparazzi.

http://www.newengland.usta.com/kathy_nielsen-dube-league_tennis_spotlight/

**PS If you'd like to nominate someone you know for the Player Spotlight, just visit the USTA New England site.

Our captain has spoken...

It matters not if your opponent at this weeks' interclub match is your friend, neighbor, masseuse, drug dealer, or the keeper of your "it's just the girls" vacation secrets.  We want a team W and the more points we take the better.  Bring your A game, your winning attitude, and, for the love of all that's sacred, do not give "new" Andrew any material for next Monday's practice. Further,  if you happen to hear anything about their line-up, consider yourself a mandated reporter to either Captain or Coach Evan. Period.

We're presently holding a 1 - 1 league record.  Our six court (7 point) team victory against Woburn was an impressive and commanding opening to the season, especially with so many new partnerships. Last weeks' tie necessitated the counting of sets, and we lost by only one. ONE!  So, keep those numbers and "rackets up" (Deluca, 2010, p. 666) and put on a little lipstick!! We're well-positioned to secure the win...

Public Apology

I would like to publicly apologize to teammate Nancy Greeley who I hit not once but five times during practice today.  And to her partner and brand new team member, Joanne Heim (who I tagged once), please accept my apology.  If there is an upside to your receiving some tennis ink today it is this:  You are now much better prepared to play across the net from DAAAHLUCA.  Be certain to note the significant difference between the two court experiences.  I apologize. Jeannie, on the other hand, will tell you to get your racket up!

Welcome and Welcome Back!

Greetings to all the new and returning members of Cedardale's A1 Women's Northshore League.  We've got one strong roster of players this run.  Under the leadership of Captain Tiny Dancer, we're set to play some hot and fierce, tranny-mess tennis! Not to mention we're going to look great dominating the courts in our Bolle Power Surge tennis togs. Welcome to our new teammates Joanne Heim, Margaret Chojin, Suzanne McCormick, Laura Harley, Sandy Wellman, Laura Naismith, Ginger Gatewood, Chris Juergens and Vicki Lewis. And shouts out to returning members Jeannie the Hammah DeLuca, Kristine the Ringah Sheehan, Hockeymom Leslie Bisson,  Fran the Backboard Howley, Nancy Makers Mark Greeley, Captain TD, and your Blogger-at-Large. We. Are. Ready.

How Power Has Transformed Women's Tennis

As you're watching the early rounds at the US Open, check out this NY Times article on women's tennis.  Kimmelman writes comprehensively on the game while asking some good questions about the transformation of the sport.  He also goes to those gendered topics that can make us cringe about our culture: emotions, outfits, race, the sisterhood, and lack of consistency among female competitors. Go to:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/29/magazine/29Tennis-t.html?_r=1

Cedardale vs. Latitude

Maybe we were Sparkin'. Or maybe it was the pressure of an open building and overhead track where spectators could view court play sans walls or curtains. Either way we swept the doubles courts for the team W on our final match of the USTA season.  The lineup placed two of the A1 doubles teams back together, which may have contributed to the straight set dominations. Personally, it felt good to have the band back together.  Jeannie and Kristine put their match in the win column in record time with Jeannie poaching, slamming, and tagging her opponents (final hit count at four?) in a tour de force not seen since the July 8, 2010 running of the bulls in Pamplona. Dorian and I won in straight sets and took the match with Dorian's stunning overhead put away down the middle. 'Twas one commanding, non-refundable shot.  Leslie and Lisa B played another straight set winning match on Doubles 1, which took the pressure off the singles ladies who walked onto the courts at 8:00.
Taking on two undefeated players, Marybeth and Betsy played hard and they played well. Marybeth hit across from a seasoned singles player who is a veritable backboard.  I know her game well having lost a singles match to her earlier in the run.  Watching the sets I was infinitely impressed with Marybeth's patience and strategic adjustments to a player who had a seemingly endless capacity to return and endure. Betsy played a strong match next door, holding her own against one tough opponent.
What impresses me most about this group of women is not necessarily our team numbers, individual rankings, or national standing. It's how we continue through the years to support each other week after week on the court and off with laughter, praise, and, perhaps most importantly, through sharing and providing accoutrement (Jeannie, ask Dorian what this means). Bottom line is we show up for each other.  In emails, text messages, phone calls, on Facebook, at matches, restaurants, homes, beach homes, and tennis "holidays" we are there and we know others will be, too.  I don't have to tell you.  That just matters.

In the Good Old Summertime

You should print the diagram posted left as the tips are useful for a variety of applications and contexts.  For example, if you accept one of Captain's pool party requests and stay for, I don't know, more than 30 minutes, then it might be helpful.  What if you happen to inadvertently snort too much Spark watermelon drink mix out of the packet, and you can't call poison control because it's a banned substance? Couldn't hurt. It will also help with the bladder infection you are certain to get after Team Latitude denies your mid-set bathroom request during the worst indoor tennis air conditions ever.

Let's just say this: If the outdoor temps run over 90 degrees for three days straight and are accompanied by don't-even-think-about-styling-your-hair humidity, know that the indoor courts at Cedardale will play host to the most vicious air quality conditions you'll experience sans a volcanic eruption.  And so it goes.  Keeping the bagels out of Brooklyn were Leslie and Marybeth who, playing doubles outside, brought us our sole point for the week.  Other than that, chaos reigned large. Clearly suffering from heat stroke, Susan and Julie agreed with the Latitude women on a new tiebreak: no time limits, you must win by four, the ball must pass the net minimally ten times before you can win the point, and you have to shout "Albuquerque!!" before flipping the point card. Yeah, they lost. Shawn lost on the singles court, but was pleased with herself because (ahem) she "made her opponent sweat." Playing singles next door, I lost 7-5, 6-4 to a woman who was ten years my senior, did not need water between games, and held a ball in her non-racket hand the entire match. I managed to run her sorry a$$ more than a couple of times, which helped to salve my wounded pride.  Shockingly, Jeannie was at the epicenter of some post 4th of July fireworks on the doubles court, and even MORE shocking than that was Kristine's pleading with Jeannie not to "clear the air" with her opponents post match.  If ever, truly ever, we needed Dorian there with the lavender spritzahhhhs, this was the week.

***A special thank you to the person who brought me a glass of wine afterward. You're the best! Unfortunately, I couldn't make out who you were owing to my severely constricted pupils.    

Put Your Hands Up!!!

Congrats to the USTA Cedardale women who defeated Newburyport this week, the number one ranked team in the league!!!  Taking both singles courts and one doubles, we brought in a much needed team win.  And, oh, are there are plenty of detes to share.  You just know there's going to be a smackdown that rivals caged wrestling and mixed martial arts when the opposing captain interrupts OUR captain's pre-drink spectating with irrelevant paperwork issues.  And who shares their individual and team record with their opponent in the bathroom??? Like WE don't have access to the interweb or the twitters?!? Going mano y mano, these captains squared off on the singles court, and Shawn took the first set at 6-4.  In the second set and an hour and a half later, Shawn led by two and called time.  The other captain called cheating and undermining. Concerned with a misunderstanding, Cap'n consulted the USTA regs before walking in the direction of the bar with her racket and the W.  I pulled in the second team point winning on the singles court in straight sets, 6-1, 6-4.  Leslie and Kristine delivered the doubles win after a dismal first set, and while Cap'n and Coach Sharon seem to think that their spectating amped up the ladies' energy, we all know what motivated them to dominate the next five games. Since this blog has a PG-13 rating, I'll not say another word.  

On another note, Jules has recently been inducted into the juicing camp alongside Cap'n, Betsey, and 4.5. While I don't want to be a killjoy, especially after Betsey claimed that she could "smell the beach" after ingesting liquid crack, I am compelled to inform y'all that synthetic taurine has been banned by the governments of Denmark, France, Norway, and the NCAA.  While France lifted their ban in recent years (can they EVER take a stand??), scientific reports exist of chickens plucking themselves to death while under the influence.  Let me say this:  If I see ONE mark on any of your arms or legs, there WILL BE an intervention. Hope you like Winehouse's tunes - she may well be your future roommate.               

For Kristine and Leslie

Ok, ladies.  There's viewing and then there's VIEWING!  Given the recent comments in the "observation" hallway, I'm here to help.  Even though Fed and Roddick have been ousted, there's still plenty of great tennis watching to be had. Luckily for us, the women at the Huffington Post have made it easy.  Click on the link below and choose from the fittest and hottest men of the Grand Slam....

Who's in Your Top Five???