Soggy Summerless Summer

USTA Top Ten WHO KNEW?
1. That this June is actually drier than previous Junes?
2. That excessive clouds, fog, and drizzle can be linked to a rise in TMJ, alcohol consumption, and feminist rants at Adam?
3. That Kristine would be the victim of a locker room assault by a Russian woman wearing only a rainbow bikini bottom and black socks?
4. That our coach would be scolded for not providing Chex Mix and Rice Krispy Treats to visiting teams?
5. That men NEVER provide post match "snacks" and no one cares?
6. That Arlene would be back on the court so soon following her surgery?
7. That Kathy's shoulder injury would induce TMJ, alcohol consumption, and 2nd wave feminist rants at Adam?
8. That Shawn's elbow injury would respond so well to the Puerto Rican Jacuzzi/Patron Rest Cure?
9. That the Divine Ms. D would be at the epicenter of acerbic opponent shenanigans?
10. That Sharon would always wear a hair clip but never, ever the color pink?

Things we know about Coach Sharon

1. Her birthday is July 3.
2. She love concerts.
3. She types in ALL CAPS. ALL THE TIME. And isn't angry.
4. She is shorter than Dorian.
5. She wants a new hairstyle that looks like Jennifer Aniston's.
6. She also wants to sport a hair clip, keep it long, and not have to use a single brush when drying her long wavy hair. And for it to look like Jennifer Aniston's.
7. She has been to over 17 hair stylists in the past two years.
8. She is married to Dave who is pictured here looking normal with a cute dog.
9. She is really patient.
10. She is determined to teach Jeannie how to be patient.
11. She is even patient when Dave must be rushed to Holy Family Hospital to remove a broken off Q-tip that he jammed into his inner ear.
12. She is nice not to remind Dave that it says about 100 times on the Q-Tip box not to jam one in your inner ear. EVER.
13. She is a member of the Cedardale Tennis Stars on Facebook.
14. She is OUR COACH for USTA Summer 2009! Yay US!

USTA - Cedardale vs. Cedardale

The Word of the Day? Time.
Three Us. Two Them.
Let's just say we're all good.

Don's Wisdom

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying, and he calls his grandson to his bed and says, Grandson I wanta you ta listen ta me. I wanta you ta take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But Grandpa I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?

You lisina ta me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino. Some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?