Out with the old, and in with the new! But before we ring in the new year, here's a look through some '09 highlights from the Ladies of A1 Tennis:
Lesley and Carol's ranking went up, and the Robo Twins went down; Susan's ranking went down, but belt buckle sales went up; Arlene got a new hip, New Adam got a new job, and we adopted Fran, Lisa, Jenn, Nancy, Carol, Lesley, and Coach Evan. Cap'n Dorian increased our health capital through meal planning amidst protestations from the cheese heads, and worked tirelessly on line-up coordination, emailing, and personal shopping for her partner
like it was her job. Arlene, Jenn, and Lisa delivered us into the progressive 21st century with an on-court
menage a trois rotation, with Julie playing back-up and social director from the wings.
Adam and Jess brought another tennis player into the world, and Jeannie and Kristine took a few out. Lisa and Leslie survived hockey, twins, work, and sickness while keeping their numbers strong and their hair-styles current. The love-ly Ann fed our/on spirits, and the '09 coaching staff began to rotate around us in practice, which is what they should have been doing all along. To that I say,
"Let's get 'em up!" We can still make Coach Dave blush and Sharon, ever the delicate flower, hopes the Snuggie comes out with an active-wear model soon. Betsey has added some rippin' spin to her bullet serve, which means if it hits you it's going to leave a mark AND burn a hole. The beauty of the strategy lies in the follow-up action of her graceful partner, Lisa, whose "I'm
so sorry!" can guilt Catholics and non-Catholics alike, even when they're on the ground.
Dorian taught Kathy some Hebrew, and Kathy challenged Dorian's evolved patience and peppermint-induced resolve by arriving to matches all over the north shore just in the nick of time. Jeannie, who clearly never watched Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom as a child, learned that a gazelle is, in fact, an animal; however, she appears unable to comprehend why it is not an appropriate metaphor to describe her game style. While lacking in animal identification skills, Jeannie CAN identify (but not define) any and all Southie jargon and phraseology. Case in point, we learned that it is acceptable to say, "I'm bullshit!" and "I'm
SO bullshit!", but absolutely not "
that's bullshit!" I'm just sayin'.
Most of all, in 2009, we celebrated victories, birthdays, good food, good wine, and each other through laughter and kindness. Here's to an even better (how is that possible??) 2010!
Please join me in thanking my partner and our lovely and brilliant Captain the next time you see her. A few of you know how much time goes into heading the squad ~ organizing, phone calling, emailing, pricing, arranging meals, working with the coaches, dealing with her partner's ridiculous schedule, baseline antics and swinging volleys, providing gum and peppermint spritzahhs to all, collecting money, attending meetings, and giving fabulous healing treatments. Just be advised that if you pull a calf muscle, her massage treatment will register between nine and ten on the pain scale provided below. I did feel some relief after but since my pre-treatment pain was about a three, I'm reluctant to grant a full endorsement just yet. Most of all, Dorian, thanks for bringing some much-needed verve to ladies' suburban tennis. You ahhh the best!
