Fake, Stay, or Go

Those are your choices, Ladies.  What do you say we mix it up at the Willows this Friday and pull out a few hand signals?  I'm personally fond of Evan's "yack, yack, yack" quacking duck sign over the simpler peace or V sign for FAKE, but that's up to you.  Dorian and I played against a pair last year who yelled out codes like they were about to snap a football, which was mildly amusing.  Not as amusing as mid-set underskirt spritzing, but we'll take the humor where we can find it.  We've dominated and been dominated by the Willows in the past, so let's decide now that we're going to bring our game to them...

Cedardale vs. Northeastern

The warm torrential rain created some pretty sticky indoor conditions at chez Cedardale this week, which may have contributed to a host of early-season, blogworthy antics. You see, I have discovered that indoor humidity makes everyone, well, just a little bit edgy.  Bad hair and excessive perspiration aside, it seems that the ordinary stuff, the more mundane behaviors, tend to make people lose all sense of reason.  Here's what I learned today during our friendly, suburban competition: 1) drinking too much water can irritate people; 2) it does not matter if you are legally allowed 90 seconds to do whatever floats your boat between sets *refer again to 1; 3) if you choose to consume more water owing to the humidity or for personal health reasons, do not expect tolerance for a between game bathroom break even if you can be back in 90 seconds; 4) if your glasses fog up during match play, too damn bad; 5) if you lose the match, shaking hands is optional; 6) you can make an outrageous line call that baffles four onlooking players and a coach and still feel your call was "spot on"; and 7) you think you can smart off to DeLuca and get away with it. Now, that'll do!

At the end of the day, we added three of the eight possible points to our team standing. Dorian and I pulled in a 4-6, 6-3, 2-1 victory from the top four courts, while Margaret and Suzanne secured a 6-2, 3-6, 3-0 win. Chris and Vicki kept their cool amidst tough conditions and played an impressive match with a 6-3, 4-6, 1-0 winning drive. Well done, everyone!!

Non sequitur alert:  I have discovered that our unassuming Margaret is well-known in these parts, so don't let her humility fool you.  Not only is she a world-class backboard like Fran, but I've heard several people refer to her in amazement and appreciation as a miracle worker who truly possesses healing hands.  So, whatever ails ye, we've got it covered. Know that Dorian's essential oils, Margaret's healing specialty, Kristine's pharmaceuticals, and my rhetorical savvy and comic relief remain ever at your service.  And if you need to kick someone's a$$ when the humidity overtakes reason and accountability, I know who I'd call (hint: rhymes with PeLuca).

Cedardale vs. Cedardale

There's always a little buzz in the air when we play our fellow club members in a match. Remember, though, it's the pros and not the Cedardale tennis women who kick-start the inter club rivalry (yeah, New Andrew, you were talkin' smack at our Monday practice!). Why, then are we subjected to the finger-wagging eyeball from Adam when we act on it?  Apparently, it's institutionally frowned upon or "not ladylike" to clap too loud, flash your teammates, or challenge the line calls of same-club opponents.  I just don't get it.  Evan has been complaining about Ryan's foot faulting for years, and the guys routinely fist pump, argue, grunt, brag, and saunter on and off the court like middle-aged Bryan brothers and not one word is said.  Newsflash, people: women want to win, too.  Why should we suppress all emotion and enthusiasm while playing or spectating?  Like my partner says, "If ya see something, say something!"  And so I will.

Congratulations to each and every one of us for taking four courts plus one set for the team win! Our top four courts struggled to take the relief off the rest of the team bringing in only one match point.  Dorian and I pulled in a 6-4, 6-1 straight set victory, leaving it up to courts five through eight to win every court for a team win. And win they did. Ginger and Laura N., Chris and Vicky, and our fabulous subs Erin and Steph secured three match points to tie up the score.  Props to all of us for keeping our numbers up along the way because at a four/four tie, it came down to counting overall sets.  We rocked the W by only one set, ladies, improved our team record, and (more importantly!!!) saved ourselves and Coach Evan from New Andrew's anemic smirking come Monday morning.  Thank god (or someone).